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School of Disney                 Subject: Comedy 101                  Class: Jokes and Riddles



What kind of vehicle do Disney characters drive?A Minnie- Van

 
Mickey and Company
  • Why did Mickey go into outerspace?
    To find Pluto!
  • What did Mickey Mouse say when Minnie Mouse asked if he was listening?
    I’m all ears!
  • How does Mickey feel when Minnie is mad at him?
    Mouserable
  • When does Mickey put up his new calendar?
    On new ears eve.
  • How did Mickey feel when he first saw Minnie?
    It was glove at first sight.
  • What is Mickey’s favorite treat?
    Mice cream
  • What do you get if you cross Donald with a whale?
    Moby Duck

What does Donald wear to a famous Hollywood party?
A Duxedo

  • What did the Daisy Duck say when she bought lipstick?
    Put it on my bill.
  • What do you call Daisy Duck when she leads the orchestra?
    A con-duck-tor.
  • What do you get when you cross Huey, Dewey & Louie with a cow?
    Quackers and Milk
  • Why did Goofy stare at the label on the orange juice all day?
    Because the carton said concentrate.
  • Why did Goofy wear two pairs of pants when he played golf?
    He thought he might get a hole in one.
 
What do you get when you cross a hunny pot with Winnie-the-Pooh?

An empty hunny pot!
Pooh and Company
  • Why didn't  Winnie-the-Pooh order dessert?
    He was already stuffed.
  • What does Winnie-the-Pooh say when he cries?
    Pooh-hoo
  • What does Winnie-the-Pooh and Bozo the Clown have in common
    The same middle name.
  • What do Winnie-the-Pooh and his pots have in common?
    Both have hunny in them.
  • What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
    Hunny!
  • How many bears does it take to empty a honey pot?
    Only one if it's a Pooh Bear!
  • What do you get when you cross Pooh and a skunk?
    Winnie the P.U.
  • Why was Tigger in the toilet?
    He was looking for Pooh!

 

What did the 101 Dalmatians say after eating diner?
That hit the spot.

 

 
  • Why doesn't Cinderella play soccer?
    Because she always runs away from the ball and she has a pumpkin for a coach!
  • What kind of blush does Mulan wear?
    Mulan Rouge
  • What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede?
    Move fasta
  • What does Ariel like on her toast?
    Mermalade!
  • Where does Ariel go when one of her friends is missing?
    The Lost-and-Flounder Department.

  • How does Crush get to the 2nd level of a building?
    He takes the SHELL-evator!
  • What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol?
    Jungle Bells!
  • What is Clarabelle's favorite party game?
    Moo-sical chairs
  • How does Clarabelle Cow feel when she's sad?
    Moo-dy
  • What insect was the king of the wild frontier?
    Davey Cricket.
  • What Disney character likes to fix things?
     Tinkerbell!
  • What do you call a fairy who doesn't bathe for a year?
    Stinker Bell
  • Why are there no planes where peter pan lives?
    They can "Never land"

  • What did Snow White say after she dropped off her film to be developed?
    Some day my PRINTS will come
  • Why did Dopey take a box of crayons with him into the bedroom?
    Snow White asked him to draw the curtains
  • What is Grumpy's favorite fruit?
    Sour Grapes.
  • Why did Sleepy take firewood to bed with him?
    He wanted to sleep like a log.
  • Why does Snow White always treat each of the Seven Dwarfs equally?
    Because she's the fairest of them all.
  • What does Baloo need to live?
    The Bear Necessities.
  • Why did Woody give Bullseye some cough syrup?
    Because he was horse.
  • Why did the pirate take his mother to the movie theater with him?
    Because the movie was rated  “arrrrrrrgh”
  • What is a pirates’ favorite restaurant?
    Arrrgh-by’s
  • Why did Jasmine go to the fruit stand in the Marketplace?
    She was looking for a date.
  • What kind of vegetable do you get when Dumbo walks through your garden?
    Squash
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